When pregnant with Lauren, at about 32 weeks I felt the baby turn. Just at the point where it was supposed to be starting to get into the right position to be born! Stubborn little thing (we didn’t know the sex of the baby at this point). This was distressing to me as I dreaded having a C-section. But after an attempt for the baby to be turned, to no avail, booked in for c-section I was.

Monday 22nd Dec 2008 was the day. I won’t bore you with the details, but after a LOT of drugs, and fairly quick op, Lauren joined us and screamed. Pretty much for the first 24-48 hours!!

Now, when I say that I’m incredibly grateful now that I had to have a C-section, this doesn’t include gratitude for a scar and twinges I still get across it. Those little niggles I hold against my first born dearly 🙂

Shortly after being born Lauren was found to have had a blocked bowel, and problems with her head. Had I given birth naturally, Lauren would have struggled to survive, and the chances are so would I. Her head didn’t have a soft spot (Fontanelle) so the Docs are unsure as to how a birth would have gone for either of us.

Whether you believe in fate, or God, or luck, or have no beliefs whatsoever, we were incredibly blessed to have had things happen how they did. We were both protected and I count myself very lucky to be able to say we were as healthy as we could be once she was here.

I remember holding her for a lengthy period of time, for the first time, once Jonathan left the hospital that first night and I was completely over come with love for my daughter. I knew she had my heart completely and I would do anything for her. Before she was born I’d struggled to feel maternal, not knowing whether it was a boy or girl didn’t work for me! But those moments together solidified it for me, we were bound forever. I loved her. And that love was set to leave me very vulnerable to a pain I couldn’t imagine.