Walking Lauren

Knowing what we knew about Lauren’s neurological problems and what that might affect, when she’d gotten to 16/17 months old and still not taken weight on her legs yet, we knew this was going to be a tougher area for her. Heartbreaking really but what can we do about it?! I always made sure I was on top of things with physios’s and the other people involved with Lauren and this was no different. Bridget is an amazing lady. She does her job and does it well! I always felt she left a bit of leeway for parents, to lead her in which way they wanted to go and how they wanted to deal with things and a bit, sometimes, of when they dealt with things. I personally felt I didn’t have time to wallow, how could I give Lauren the best chance at walking if I was too busy wallowing. I couldn’t so I just got on with it and quietly tried to get my head round things.

We first started with the standing frame. This was to help Lauren understand that she had legs, and that she could use them to take weight on.

She didn’t particularly love it, but once she was in it daily, she simmered and got on with it. She had a tray on it, and under the tray a bowl toys could go in. We played with her, gave her attention.

Slowly she started to straighten her legs for a few seconds and take her weight. Not huge amounts but she was obviously creating the pathways in her brain to know what her legs were for! This was great news for us.

Once she had had this for a few months, we went to the CDC and picked a walking frame. Lauren didn’t take more than 1 step by herself in the frame. She wasn’t that interested in it. She could kind of hang on it and be lazy so that’s what she did! I would very literally be on the floor behind her moving one of her feet in front of the other, then say ‘Lauren stand please’, she would then straighten her legs and take her weight and be stood up by herself. Then she would drop back to just hanging on! We used our Church building to do this practise in, because our home wasn’t suitable, but we went every day. (95% of the time!).

She did pretty much take it all in her stride. This cute little red frame became her new toy haha! I would say it took her about 4 weeks of me doing every step of the way for her, to her standing up and walking off. She had no control over speed or direction but her little legs didn’t half move haha!!! When Bridget came back to see us, he jaw actually dropped. This perked my spirits up no end. There was a HUGE amount of hope here. She would one day walk. I knew it. I just didn’t possibly realise how long this might take

Lauren practised in this frame for months. Maybe about 4/5. She got no better at steering in those months really haha! She didn’t care one bit, but she built some muscles up in her legs, and she found a little bit of independence. It was hard work, and a very very lonely path for me as an individual. A loneliness I haven’t felt in any other way. A great responsibility lay on my shoulders. And that was pretty scary. Family helped a bit, but didn’t understand how much I needed them to come and just be with us at church whilst we practised, and those that did, couldn’t commit to helping us very much. I got used to it being just me and Lauren. I suppose in a way it gave me a reason to get up some days.

I hate myself for how frustrated I would get with Lauren sometimes. The desperation in me that she would learn the next step and conquer this. I expected too much and got cross when I really shouldn’t have. I would have a do over at this bit if I could.

The next frame, although picture less to show you, was the hardest step for me as a mother. We had a horse shoe kind of shaped frame, on one side the front was just a gap, her arms were strapped to either side and her whole body otherwise was unsupported. The reasoning behind this was to next strengthen her core. Her legs had been strengthened somewhat and now she needed her mid rift doing. I did sit ups with her, and we did this frame a lot. The problem was, Lauren really did not like being restrained. She hated this frame. She would only have to see this one and she would start screaming. It tugged at my heart strings quite surprisingly for me. But I knew that without this step she wouldn’t progress. So we did it. She mellowed. and with my help to keep her core straight to start with, eventually she was mastering this one. This was a major milestone for me. To be rid of that flippin frame! haha! We had this one for a few months again. probably in total about 10 months between the first two.

The next stage was picking what i call a zimmer frame because I don’t remember what it’s actually called. There are ones like old ppl’s zimmers and ones that you pull along behind you. I knew instantly which I wanted for lauren because I knew her laziness needed the front pushing one. The ones she pulled behind her gave her something to lean on, and that wasn’t going to help her progress. So I chose the Zimmer. Lauren didn’t quite understand that she needed to hold on, or steer, or move. This was hard work for her. And she let me know it. I didn’t feel too bad here though because I could see what was next and knew she would flourish if she just worked hard and mastered this one!

It was hard work holding her so she didn’t fall, making sure she kept holding on, trying to steer and keep the faith that one day she’d do all of this on her own!

This picture was taken about 3-4 weeks after Lauren first walked down a single corridor at church by herself, with a little steering from mummy. What a proud day. March 3rd I believe it was 🙂

It took over 2 and a half years from first standing upright in that standing frame, and over 2 years from me kneeling behind her in that red frame. What a journey. and it still isn’t over. She is a whizz on her frame now. Steering for the most part, holding on and knowing she needs to to be safe. She uses it at school to get around. But the real goal is seeing her walk independently without it. She has taken steps between adults. She is getting steadier. It is exciting to be on the cusp of seeing something amazing. And we will continue putting as much work into it so that she can achieve her fullest potential…..