I realised something a few years ago. Winter is a very lonely time. Most people get ill with some bug or other, and we try to avoid people as much as humanly possible. I don’t care if this offends people. My child’s life is just too important, and her quality of life just as important. So if people decide we’re no longer friends because they don’t get phone calls, and arranged catch ups with me/us, then to be fair, good riddance.

I thought for that past few years, it was just winter time. This year had me realise something though, it doesn’t actually ever end. No matter what we have planned, what the weather is like, what we think is spring time is here; our ‘winter’ never really ends. I spend a lot of time looking into whether or not somewhere is a safe place for Lauren, or investigating just how ill those people are that have not thought to stay at home. It is a constant battle. But those friends who love us regardless, and even though we come with such baggage that will appear-even though it is not meant to-judgemental and harsh and like they’re not good enough or their house isn’t; those friends are the ones we keep close.

Over the winter period this last year, we had people that just said-get in touch when you feel you can be round people again. That is such a relief. During the warmer months we definitely try to hang out and have catch ups with people. It is so hard though because germs and bugs never ever end!

I hate that I have to look at people’s homes, and make sure the things that aren’t safe for Lauren, aren’t there. It makes me feel bad, but Lauren is just too important, even more than friends are.

The beauty is when people just understand, and hold nothing against us, and get exactly how hard it is. So no offence is taken and we remain friends, and stronger ones at that.

 

I don’t know if that makes sense or just seems rude, but winter just isn’t the only time our fears are heightened. It never ends.