The #MeToo solidarity amongst victims, I think it’s a powerful gesture and certainly has got people to open up even if it’s only the #metoo and nothing else. Some women in the public eye finally started talking and in the weeks afterwards a storm unleashed on people – mainly men – that have taken advantage of women, and as it has unveiled, some children. It makes me sick to my stomach that these men have thought this was OK. Well, they’ve thought it was OK to try to get away with it. If they truly thought it was OK then they would have publicised it themselves instead of having to wait until their victims found courage and a voice to come forward. Some women out there are culprits too. Shocking I know, but it’s true-you might even know some of these people.

The problem with #metoo?? It isn’t those who write it…

Have you seen one and thought any of the following to yourselves??

*Liar

*I don’t believe them – they’re attention seekers

*They’re after fame and a payoff

*Why are they trying to drag up the past

*They’re damaging that persons reputation

*My goodness me, it’s just a bit of harmless fun, nobody got hurt

*Why haven’t they said something before now

*S/He is a trouble causer, I don’t believe them

*None of my business

*They should have dealt with it years ago-just let it go

If you have then the only problem with #metoo is YOU.

I stand completely alone in naming my abuser. I don’t mind standing alone for the most part. I’ve come to be pretty strong in a lot of things. But others know what he did. I don’t regret confronting the issues, or being abandoned by those who should love me most and protect me. I don’t even care if some who have been told don’t believe me. What I do care about is how we as a society condemn pedophiles that are easy targets because they have numerous accusers and are publicly known. Victim after victim has come forward and rightly so-we are disgusted. We wouldn’t let those people near our families, or give them the time of day, and certainly wouldn’t tell the victim that it’s OK we believe them but they still like the pedophile. Or to hurt the victim because we don’t like them personally, tell them after some thought that we think they’re lying. I could name a few of those people who you wouldn’t go near for a Million pounds. But they don’t deserve any more time spent on talking about them and the heinous crimes that they committed.

If the perpetrator happens to be someone who you’d rather not be named as the bad guy, someone you would like to forget did some heinous things out of ease and comfort to yourself, someone YOU can’t imagine doing some dreadful and vile – things to either women or children whether it be boy or girl, then that’s OK isn’t it??? You can forget the lives that have been damaged and trauma left in the lives of innocent people until they got their hands on them. Just pretend it’s nothing to do with you and society can go on being sordid and evil until each victim possibly stumbles across other victims so they have a support network of people who believe them. People who because they have been violated know exactly how it feels to have parts of them broken that seems like they can never be fixed. As long as you get to shy away from standing up to what is right then your bubble can keep on floating, right?!

#Metoo means I know how it feels to be a victim. All my life. I just didn’t know who had done the most vile of acts to me, until I was told years later that another child happened to say ‘No, but he did that to April’.  Knowledge never given to me, so I didn’t know how to fix myself. I thought if I spoke up I would be counted as crazy and attention seeking since my childhood had been rocky. I have blocked out most of my childhood, and to be honest I don’t ever want to remember it. Attention is the last thing that I love. You might be thinking then why write this! Well, because the attention shouldn’t be on me should it. But the ‘blame the victim’ mindset makes that the case far too often.

I have sought out therapy, and still visit from time to time because unfortunately abuse becomes a part of you, however you deal with it. It engraved something upon your life that you don’t get a choice about, you have to live with it. I’ll always be a victim of abuse. I have fortunately found help that helps me enough that I can fight on and make sure I still have a life full and productive and happy. I would be lying if I said it doesn’t haunt me sometimes, but during those times I look around at courageous people who have come forward in the face of adversity (mostly society/family/friends) and stood up and spoken about what has happened. They are heroes. They deserve the positive attention. They deserve medals, because someone without doubt will have made them feel unworthy of being the victim of abuse. How sick and twisted is that!

One reason people don’t come forward is to protect themselves in case anyone tries to make them feel like they don’t deserve people to be disgusted with their abuser. In case someone makes them feel like they are lying to hurt someone else. It may just break some vistims beyond repair for family and friends to not believe them. Especially when you have an abuser who feels no remorse and will not admit what they did. Or one who tries to act like a victim because you have confronted it. Society has took a sick twisted turn on who should receive kindness.

The bottom line.. there’s nothing at all wrong with #MeToo, and if you think there is then you yourself, in my opinion, need a change of heart and I sincerely hope it never comes through being a victim of abuse.