The easiest decision I ever made was marrying Mr Birch 13 years ago today. I didn’t have to mull it over at all. I wanted to be his wife, I wanted life’s adventures to be with him. As soppy and cliche as it sounds, he was the missing piece. I absolutely felt complete.

Little did I know about marriage, life, and what would lie ahead but choosing this guy I fundamentally believe was the wisest thing I’ve done. I couldn’t have come out on top of the things we’ve dealt with if I had chosen someone else. He’s charismatic, energetic, playful, laughs like Jimmy Carr, smiles like Chandler 😂, he’s sensitive, calm, and completely without malice. When I hear women sometimes complaining of guys not pulling their weight I feel grateful that he has always been domesticated too. All of those pluses outweigh how much he annoys me. (Mostly 😉)

Figuring out how to balance the engineer brain with human emotions and reality has been a process. Not for the faint hearted haha! He’s had to figure out how to try handle a council estate, loud mouth, very rough round the edges middle child on steroids (never-ever literally!!) attitude 1 of 6 kids and emotional wreck; after coming from a home of 2 kids, and youngest child (syndrome 😁). The two processes have head butted a lot!! That hasn’t been a pleasant process as we’ve dealt with some difficult issues alongside the normal stuff.

We dealt differently with Lauren’s diagnosis’s. It’s possible to work together, but you have to figure out each other’s needs, to allow the individual to accept, deal with, and process to be able to come back together and lean on each other. There’s no guidance book. I can honestly say that if it wasn’t Jonathan next to me- I would be single.

There’s few people I’ll take advice from. Very very few. He’s my No 1. I do actually listen to him. Not always- because I am actually right a lot 🙂

He’s given me something to keep coming back to in the storms. Him. His kindness. His compassion. His ability to fix most things (his engineer ego just got bigger). That’s what engineers do. They fix things. This guy is one of the best at that. It bothers him when he can’t.

The past 3 – 4 years have been our hardest. We’ve had some personal big things, smaller things, and extended family issues to contend with. This guy has been right there up front and central to it all offering his support.

I was given some information a few years ago that broke me. I knew I had been abused as a child. The puzzle wasn’t complete. I was finally told some things I should have always known. It shattered me. It nearly defeated me. Jonathan held me together. I don’t like being given sympathy, just help when needed. He has been the very definition of what home feels like. The calm amongst all storms. He pushes me to do better and keep going. No one else would have stuck around. He did.

13 years together and it wouldn’t be right not to mention part of that journey is this beautiful relationship

He adores her, and he is her favourite person. He protects her, comes to appointments with us, reads to her every night when possible, and does as much for her as I do. He’s fully invested in her future, her happiness, and works so hard so she has everything she needs. He has so much love for his girls. We’re very lucky.

I’m better at badminton, he’s better at volleyball. Haha- OK – the swine is better at EVERYTHING!! If he wasn’t so nice, I could really despise him 😄

The biggest lesson I have learned is that storms will continue to come. We’ve had many. Marriage is hard flipping work. It’s not always nice. We don’t always agree. We sometimes don’t even like each other! It’s accepting everything that comes with the other person. Dealing with those things. Not abandoning them. Marriage is a commitment to keep going and facing these things together, building a foundation that is solid and can withstand the storms together. The longer we’re together, then the more solid it becomes.

The truth? ….

I can’t wait to see what the next 13 have in store for the Birch’s because even though it looks tough, and is tough dealing with our problems- we are happy and I wouldn’t change things (barring cf- that can totally do one!!) for the world.

Love you Birch- thanks for always loving me xx