Jonnie and I were talking this evening about various things. My belief in God came up and how I felt about that. It might be weird to some people that I believe in God. But that belief has held me up more than human interaction has at some of the most poignant times in my life. I’m grateful for it and you should be too if you know and like me!! Why!? Because it makes me who I am.

I think it’s ok to sometimes dwell on the utter crap we’ve had to deal with in our lives. We ALL have those times, or at least we all have family or friends that we’re close to, that do, if not ourselves. If we don’t live in those places of fear, doubt, anxiety, depression (I’m talking situational), loneliness and heartache then I don’t think we truly process and grieve where needed and as a result we will end up completely stuck there.

At different seasons of life I undoubtedly re visit the hard times and feel those feelings and I’m learning to welcome them in. Live there for a while and start afresh when the season finishes.

It’s not always the same problems that hit me, and more often than any is fear of the future and what that will mean if (I have to use this word because if I use the words like when and how then it’s too much for my heart to take) we have to live without our children here on earth for a while.

I try to take some time though and get through the feelings instead of hiding away from them too much.

Something happens to me when I do this. I feel more hope and faith in what I believe and I feel a peace that one day all will be made right again. I believe in Jesus Christ and his life and mission and I believe he was resurrected and because of that event, we will all be resurrected. Does that make me crazy? I don’t care if it does. What I feel when I study about him brings more peace and hope to my life than anything. I believe we’re here to learn, progress, and each have our own set of talents, challenges and lives. I don’t end up with the answers to everything. But this I know, families can be together forever and that right there sees me through some of my darkest moments. I’m so grateful for my personal relationship that I have with my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ.

It wasn’t intended to be a religious-ey post but when I started writing about my fears the rest just came, because faith overcomes fear if we let it and I’m learning that so much as a mum more each day.

I will keep trying each day to live here in the moments and find happiness regardless of my beliefs of eternity. Because that is also why we are here- to find and experience happiness and joy in our lives.

As Easter comes up, my belief and hope very much centre on Him.

I’m so grateful to have this handsome guy next to me to help me through the hard times. I know not everyone is that lucky. I feel so blessed to call him mine.

Go hug your loved ones a little tighter.

April xx