I get cross sometimes when people say challenges can be overcome. I’ve always thought some of them are going to stick around for all of our lives, but recently I feel like these people may mean something completely different.

It’s true, Lauren will have Cf all of her life here on earth, she will have disabilities both learning and physical. Put all that together and life seems tough.

Lately I have concentrated on my personal development, Jonathan and I have concentrated so much on our marriage, and I especially, have concentrated on changing some bad habits that affect my happiness. I’m still working on changing and change in itself is hard to do but I LOVE a challenge. Apparently I have thrown that statement out into the universe FAR TOO OFTEN hahaha!!

OK, so I love a personal challenge and not necessarily all of the ones that keep being thrown at my family. I wish some of those would let up.

I was incredibly lucky to visit my friend in Singapore ( and visit Thailand with her and her family) recently whilst Jonathan and Lauren got to go to Tenerife with Jonathan’s mum and dad. I was lucky enough to literally have time to myself and do nothing if I so wished. When you’re doing nothing, you always do something. I chose to think about my family, life and my purpose here. I like to consider what I might become now that I feel I am completely in control of that choice.

I also read. I spent an afternoon in Thailand listening to the monsoon type weather, watching the rain lash it down, and wind disrupt everything, I found a safe spot and read and listened and soaked up some time to myself to be me. I have now completed the first book (separate to my scriptures), that I have read in well over a decade. I find it hard to concentrate. I don’t like to be engrossed in a book-it takes my concentration to somewhere that I haven’t felt safe. Now I feel in control and I feel very accomplished. I’m onto my second book!

I feel like a peace has finally come into my life to help me understand that even though my challenges will remain, and no doubt more will come, it’s within my soul to determine how I react to those things. That’s what people mean. I don’t have to feel bitter. I don’t have to feel angry (I still do sometimes-I’m still working on it constantly). The point is, we get to decide by our actions how we feel. I personally feel like all my prayers are being answered, other people’s prayers are being answered and I feel constantly uplifted lately and helped along our path. I don’t have to do it alone. I know Lauren is way closer to Heaven than I am, and the truth is my Father in Heaven is looking after her. I just have to have Faith. Faith that there is a plan for us, a plan for Lauren and he knows more than I ever will. I trust that. It’s baby steps as I spent years being angry at her conditions. I’m still muddling through some of those feelings. I am still doing all in my power to help her and protect her and keep her safe so that she gets the best from all angles.

No one can get you to the point where you stop thinking about how badly done to you are, you have to get yourself there. You have to be honest with yourself about how you actually feel too. You have to stop being bothered by other peoples actions even when they’re intention is to hurt you. I still have low days. But I honestly and truly believe that magic happens, just beyond the point of almost giving up. Just keep swimming!!

Thank you if you love our family. Lauren deserves all the love in the world. I find it hard to understand why people love me and are kind to me, but I feel incredibly lucky to have some amazing people who truly love us and want the best for us. Jonathan being top of that list-he truly loves and adores his girls, I’m very blessed that I’m one of those 😉 (Love you right back Birch, more than ever)

Peace out 😉